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Monday, December 3, 2012

FORGET the Wackos from Waco...

Christmas festivities at Whataburger

Navasota has an awesome football team this year and is headed to the state championship... and even though I love my weekly jam session, I HAD to see at least one post-season game... and I chose a doozy.

We stopped at Whataburger in The Woodlands for supper.. a tradition in my circle, and well, it got real strange, real quick.

This six foot-two, very anorexic Santa came in, "HO-HO" Hoing and making an attempt to bring Holiday cheer.  He made himself at home, going behind the counter and offering the cashier a candy rose... and not finding a hospitable reception, he went and sat down and began to lightly heckle the hamburger eaters. I told the guy at the register to call the police. Something wasn't right. Santa had on work gloves. Santa had on strange, very un-Santa foot wear. As you know, I know Santa, and this was not a REAL santa!
Someone bought Santa a drink, a big mistake, and emboldened, he began to yell out across the store... "Hello Kathy! Hi Jennifer," and he looked right at me... "I KNOW YOU COWBOY!" Soon the assistant manager asked him... told him to leave. About that time an ambulance pulled up, and some EMT's came in for a burger. Santa obliged the management and went to play in the ambulance...

I couldn't make this stuff up... the Law was summoned and soon an officer was cuffing Anorexic Santa in front of Whataburger. He talked to his following the whole time. "Hi Nancy! Hi Kathy!"
"I think I'm Santa!"
My brother Reynolds had the quote of the night... "I know what he is saying... don't taze me Ho-Ho Ho!"
Anyway the Navasota Rattlers put it on a very talented coastal team... who shall remain nameless because they were the worst coached, most undisciplined, unsportsmanlike team we have played in a while. Two of their players were ejected, lots of penalties, they really hurt themselves. They blew it, and Navasota beat them without stooping to their level... which they wanted. Nuff said about that.
So after the game we go BACK to Whataburger for their excellent coffee... yeah, we really like Whataburger... and there sitting in the store was another questionable, Viking Santa. Here we go again!
This kind of retards my already unwilling Christmas spirit... I'm just not ready for what is coming... Forget the wackos in Waco and Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer, I'm thinking there will be a movie soon about this phenomenon... 
The Burger Zombie Santa's of Texas!

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