Sunday, September 18, 2011
Yes, I can write a short one...
A scene at a ranch in New Zealand where the movie Lord of the Rings was filmed.
This photo I took on a mission trip near Napier, New Zealand well illustrates the road ahead for me. By the entry below you may have figured out that... (I hate the way you read these blogs from the top.. so you get the last stuff first...) I am going through a difficult time. I sacrificed a great deal more than I realized when I committed to the Blues Captial Revue... I did this to myself... and surely had it not been that, it would have been something else.
The point is that I have been on a weird adrenaline rush ever since about a week before it happened... and I cannot seem to come down. In the past I always crashed after a big deal and rested a few days and then returned to my madness, never the worse for wear. This time there was no crash... just heart racing, pounding, high anxiety... for well over a month. Certainly there is some stress in my life... but not that bad. But my stress governor is broken.. everything upsets me now. A small setback, a western movie, a stupid commercial, I am a nervous wreck, and I have no reason to be.
As best as I can tell, I need to change some things in my life, to survive. I am taking a couple of weeks off, and I am going to try to find my "box," as Gary Borski puts it. The safe place I can live in. In other words, recognize my limitations and learn to live within them. Yeah, really. I need to study my intake, my meds and food, my mental and intellectual stimulation, my spiritual environment, my friends and my acquaintances... my tasks and duties... and some things must go.
Please, if you are a praying person, pray for me during this time. I'm cutting out the Internet for two weeks... so I'll see you then.