A scientific prediction, based on simple statistics

Now that our Country is deep in the throes of another presidential election, I want to publish a series of “fireside chats.” We are at a strange and precarious place in history, where we cannot begin to imagine the consequences of our decisions, as a Nation, because so much is in flux, and there are so many factions with radical attitudes. Perhaps not since the Civil War have there been so many citizens willing to throw all caution and civility to the winds in favor of quantum social change.

As we lunge forward into this election I can safely predict a few things. We will elect a tall man with hair, who captures our hopes and suspends our chronic disbelief. He will get elected more for what he did not say, than what he dared to say, more for who he speaks for rather than what he stands for. Our presidents, for many years, have been good communicators rather than good administrators.

Americans cringe from men who speak directly to issues, who are bold in action, who are strong advocates with clear purpose. We like nice guys, diplomats, leaders who are a just a little less confused than we are. We feel better when they are human like us, flawed, even unlikely leaders. In recent history, we have just as often elected a farmer, an actor or a community organizer, as frequently as we have chosen lifetime politicians, as long as they "looked presidential."

So far we have turned our noses up at highly qualified economists, businessmen, and soldiers. We like left-handed candidates. Ford, Reagan, Clinton, Bush I and Obama have all been left-handed. Lefties are generally more artistic, communicative, and inventive than the average person. We apparently like them better than plain old responsible, proven administrators with years of achievement.

We hardly ever elect a short, right handed, bald guy. This says a lot about the election process. It is more like American Idol and less objective than your local school board election. Or maybe it is some kind of coincidence, when you look at most American Presidents since Hoover. Roosevelt, Kennedy, Clinton, the Bushs, and Obama, all tall, pretty good-looking men, half of them left-handed. That’s a proclivity towards left-handedness five times the human average. With those kinds of odds, you can predict who will win the next election with pretty reliable accuracy.

So I am going to stick my neck out. We need a graph to compare the possible candidates…
................Looks............Left-handed..................Tall w/hair
Obama............+.....................+.......................+
Romney...........+.....................-........................+
Santorum..........-.....................-........................+
Gingrich...........-.....................-........................+
Paul...............-.....................-.........................-

Looks pretty bad for the Republicans! They should pay more attention to these things.